I think I'm having a mixed episode. Totally normal for the time of year but ugh. It's hard because I have reason to be sad and even situationally depressed. But this is going over the top. I missed a night of sleep and couldn't nap 2 days ago which is never, ever a good sign but last night I slept very soundly. So I don't know.

My clothes washer is broken and my cat had an accident and I'm just not coping well with those simple things.

I talk to my pdoc and therapist tomorrow. Hopefully they can help. I'm hoping that I don't have to do a few day pulse of clozapine. It makes me so sleepy, even with a tiny dose. But it's my best bet if I am cycling. Which I am. I'm just hoping to stop it without meds.