Hi River31, thank you for posting. I am truly sorry that you are going through this too. I'm really not sure what is wrong with humans. I have lost all faith in them. Don't even try to decipher what your stbx meant, it is just more nonsense and avoiding a real answer.

I am learning not to ask questions, because I get no answers, or the answers are lies, or the answers are avoiding the question. Really, I know what I have to do and I am doing the best I can to make this road as easy on myself as I can.

To take care of myself I have been journaling on this website. I have been going into work Monday through Friday, and that keeps my mind off of things and allows me a little respite from the grief. I have been doing my research. I have been cleaning and cooking for myself. I have been trying to envision what this next chapter of my life will be like, looking for the positives so I can make it the best life possible. I have contacted a therapist for myself to help me deal with all that is on my plate.

I am trying to be honest with myself and avoid any denial -- which is part of the grief process. I know what is ahead and the sooner I reach acceptance the better off I will be.

Be kind to yourself. Feel free to stay in contact. It is good to have online friends who understand.