Yes, I currently cosleep with my daughters. Once the baby's night feed ends, I will be returning to our bedroom (with dad). It was a sacrifice we were both willing to take.

No. My daughter does not exhibit signs of sexual abuse. I was concerned about the POSSIBILITY of "grooming" but because of how I handled things, I no longer feel this is an issue. I've firmed up that boundary with him, our daughter, and his parents. My daughter and I have regular discussions around body boundaries, read books together, etc.. all of which were deemed to be appropriate. I definitely put that in the spotlight, in case.

I'm 100% certain there is no sexual abuse. My daughter doesn't sleep in his room. She did for several months when my baby was born. She wasn't sleeping well there, so we both agreed it was best for her to return to her room.

This whole thing about him wanting her in his room is more about emotional blackmail against me. He only demands it when he's upset over a boundary that caused him to feel rejected or "attacked". I've dug my heals. This is also about him needing that emotional comfort that if he's not getting it from me, will expect it from her. It's a form of emotional parentification. The parenting specialist agreed with me and it was one of the 10 issues he had against me. It's a non-issue now because I've been persistent.

Thank you for sharing. Can you explain what happens typically when you're experiencing a BPD episode?