I really related to both of these posts. My marriage of 33 years and our story seem to be very similar.

Something that I am really struggling with is releasing my husband and the other woman from my consciousness. I don't want him back and and taking steps to heal myself and use this as a positive springboard forward. I just can't clear them out of my head--it's like a shadow living in my brain.

If I could maintain a friendship with him and the other woman was not in the picture, I think I could get there. But knowing that she has been on the periphery of my life for 10 years and I had no idea until two months ago, is haunting me.

Anyone have any ideas? I am trying breathing and reading and walking and it only helps for a little while.