I do hope you are able to see a mental health clinician soon who might be able to help. You are in a high stress job during a time period filled with many other stressors. That you are able to maintain regular prayer and meditation is a good sign, since many who get to the same point just stop doing that kind of stuff. I don’t really need to tell someone in your profession to do what needs to be done to also take care of yourself, so that you are equipped to take care of others. So this is just a friendly reminder to take your own steps for wellness and wellbeing. Hugs and prayers and good thoughts.