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Originally Posted by Blunderring
Dang, I have been hit BIG TIME, as MY fault... OK, i can accept it. I THOUGHT, I was being fairly "open" by MY leaving MY email open to her?
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For me, being "open" is by being transparent and having these conversations with her. If she had known you've been speaking with this flame, why would she be upset? If she's upset, either she didn't know the extent of your communication; she didn't approve of you communicating with her in the first place; or you've left something out.
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I don't see/know her stuff, as she's a PHONE person and texts... I am older and can't understand her/this stuff, No MATTER. Apparently, I really SCREWED UP, so I accept this. Thank you a;ll for all your advise....
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Our electronic devices and what we choose to do with it is private to us. I'm very private with mine and have nothing to hide from my partner.. apart from coming here to discuss concerns I have about our relationship. To me, it's not information he's entitled to have. Having said that, there's boundaries we need to be mindful of.
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..... her first EX was dying from cancer and asked her to see him/with me and his new wife and talk and she agreed.. but she kissed him on the head and talked to him and i was OK with that.
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This was an entirely different scenario. You were all present. He was dying and her kiss was likely her way of putting closure to an abusive situation she endured a long time ago. This potentially had a healing element for her.
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So now I try and help a 40+ EX chick and I am the culprit???
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Chick? I think this is a term men use to describe women they don't respect but are sexually interested in. Maybe I'm wrong.
You said this flame wasn't looking for help. You offered unsolicited "help" anyway? What's in it for you, apart from once being in love with her? There was a reason why you exchanged personal email addresses if she had contacted you via Facebook. Things can get mucky. At the very least, you put your relationship at risk by staying connected with an ex you were in love with.
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OH, what about leaving my Facebook/email OPEN to her for her to see stuff? Should I expect the same from her??? i ,mean we should have an open relationship?
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That's a choice you can make for yourself. Instead of planting seeds, why not give her your password? Why not share information relevant, personally? She's not obliged to keep her accounts open because you chose to.
There seems to be a trust issue here.