This message will be a bit convoluted. I'm sort of chronicling my very similar experience with my two nephews. Me and my mother have both been super frustrated--we send gifts and never even hear that they arrived, much less that they were opened and that the boys liked them. Last year, I wanted to buy my nephews these cute little color-changing lanterns to carry around in the dark. But I asked my brother what the boys might like to be sure it would be a good present. He said something space/NASA related. So I bought my nephews this space tent that looks like the space shuttle, that they can go inside and play in. And my mother bought the tunnel that connects to the tent. I never heard anything more about the gift--I never heard that it came, never got a picture, never knew whether or not the boys like it. I too am of modest means and that was it for me--I've never sent a gift since. I know it arrived because my mother confirmed having heard something about it, vaguely.

My mother in the meantime continues to send gifts and is constantly upset by how they're received. I complained to my father about it, who told me--"If you never have expectations, you'll never be disappointed." I had a lot of difficulty accepting this advice. I started sending my nephews cards and postcards instead, because I heard they liked getting mail. That went okay for a while, I guess because my brother acknowledged the arrival of the first ones I sent. But then...radio silence...I had thought I'd be less angry about it because the cards cost me very little $$, but I was wrong. I was extremely angry. I sent 3 sets over about 6 weeks; not one was acknowledged in any way, until I explicitly asked if they'd come. My brother was all vague, like, "Oh yeah, I didn't tell you?" I vented about it to my parents...a lot... My father again told me to lower my expectations, lol.

Finally, somehow--very recently--I let go of my remaining expectations regarding my brother. I stopped making the cards by hand, which was time-consuming and caused me to be more resentful when they were ignored. Instead, I bought a box of 100 Star Wars postcards. I send each of my nephews 1/week. The boys are nuts about Star Wars. My reasoning is: toys are broken/outgrown/etc, but often one saves one's correspondence for life. Not to mention letters/postcards are a forgotten art. I write them detailed messages, often about Star Wars lore and the history of the image on the card, which I hope they'll enjoy more and more as their reading skills improve. I refuse to dumb down my messages; I rather the boys grow into the text than that they're left with a bunch of letters meant for a 2 or 5 YO. At the bottom, I include a few sentences about what's going on with me. It's more affordable than gifts and over the years will accumulate into solid evidence I wasn't a deadbeat aunt!

When I put them in the mail, I always just tell myself--"I'm not going to think about these cards anymore. If my brother tells me they came, great. If he says nothing--that's what I'm expecting anyway..."

So...I don't exactly have advice for you yet because your grandchild is only 2...and of course you want to send gifts... But lowering my expectations (as if they weren't low to start out with, sheesh) helped me a lot. And transitioning from gifts to cards/postcards also helped me. Sometimes on the cards, I write "Please let me know when this arrived so I can start preparing the next one." My brother's flaky, but the boys never fail to tell me their cards came because they want more Star Wars mail. For their birthdays, I buy them $15 popup cards of Star Wars spaceships. No gifts.

IMO--I would LOVE to have a ton of cards from my grandparents, full of their personalities/histories/humor that I could read and reread.