At the same time you show such insight and compassion, it is also apparent that YOU are an emotionally battered husband. If it's just a matter of getting her to take medication for her illness (does she?), or what you think will be resolved in counseling, then I say give it a try, but your description of the circumstances make it sound like you and your children need a break from it to get yourselves healthy and happy. Do you really need to stay with a woman who has internet sex with a man far away and who wants to have his baby? who spends all that time on the Internet instead of caring for the children or being a wife to you? Sorry....I'm exasperated just thinking about it!
Patty