I've been depressed for a long time. I had a nervous breakdown when I was 17 and had to see a shrink, but I lied about everything just so that things would blow over. Now here I am 21, in a foreign country for 6 months, getting ready to enter my senior year of college, and I'm so depressed because of everything that's built up over my life, I'm at the brink of letting the cannon loose again...and this time it's going to destroy my world.

I'm fighting a mental battle, and I'm starting to lose. I don't know what I'm doing with my life.Should I finish my senior of college? Should I come clean with my family and friends? Should I seek professional help. I know the answer is yes, but I'm going to lose everything in the process....

It's like I have a ticking time bomb, only I get to choose when it blows up. I could come home after my stay here, and tell my parents I need to see a shrink, and admit I'm a failure, or I could simply Finish out my senior year, and then let everyone know I'm a failure.

I know I'm answering my own question here, but I just need some input here....do I destroy everything I've created? Or do I let it destroy me?