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Originally Posted by TishaBuv
“Thank you for sharing. Can you explain what happens typically when you're experiencing a BPD episode?”
It’s hard to compare it to your situation, because mine is very different.
When I married, I did not think I had any emotional difficulties, really hadn’t thought about that. It was not feeling, but being physically and emotionally neglected by my husband who isn’t a bad guy at all, just preoccupied with his stress from career and does not have ability to connect in the way I need. The struggle has gone on for way too long and I eventually showed traits of BPD. I feel it is out of exasperation with him, but there may be underlying causes that are emanating from me.
It’s honestly hard for me to relate to your husband’s involvement with your daughters, as my own father was totally uninvolved with us girls, and my husband was pretty much uninvolved with our three sons. I did most all the raising of our sons and husband and I did not butt heads about anything. He supported and agreed with my parenting.
We are older than you, and I understand fathers are now much more involved. So IDK if your husband’s involvement is typical or not.
FYI- All three of our sons slept in a bassinette next to my bed for the first six months, then went into their own room in their crib. Two brothers shared a room, then the third son had his own room while the two older ones shared a room through high school because they liked it. I’m just pointing this out to show you our parenting style. There were no issues with them having separation anxiety.
I do have emotional attacks, meltdowns, raging at my husband. I think it’s anxiety overload. It’s always over this sexual dynamic. I never do anything to hurt him; not physical, not financial, not impulsive danger cruelty... nothing like that. Just basic bytching and crying.  . I was not really diagnosed BPD. I was diagnosed EDD- emotional dysregulation disorder (but when you look that up it says it’s BPD) and a different psychiatrist agreed, when I posed it to him, that I have BPD traits, which is not the full blown disorder. There is a BPD sub forum on PC if you want to read about and from others. |
I don’t think MsLady and her partner are that much younger. From my understanding they are in their 40s.
I think parental involvement differs by a life style. My dad was very involved with us because both my parents worked full time so they had to take turns. My grandpas were involved in child rearing too because grandmas also worked full time. Same happened with me and my ex. I think in families where both parents work and take turns with child care, then dads are more involved. If dad works and mom stays home, sometimes that’s how responsibility is divided. One works, then the other raises kids. I have a coworker whose husband is stay at home dad. I am sure he is more involved than her as he is there all day
My daughter slept in the crib in the same room for a long time because we had no extra rooms. No separation anxiety and no desire to be in the same bed. It’s not particularly safe as one could roll over on top of the kid or knock them down. But of course co sleeping does happen and it’s ok. Just longer it goes on, more likely kids to have a separation anxiety. Sometimes we got to let the kids to grow up little by little plus I think it’s important for a young couple to share a bed. Unless they’d rather not... which is a separate issue