I can't see a family doctor, because then it would go through insurance, leaving a paper trail that I had to see the doctor for psychiatric care. I don't know what I'm so worried about...if I'm going to let it all loose, why should It even matter, but it does. I don't think I can take it anymore....I'm actually surprised I've lasted this long without breaking down.

I think I should drop out, see a therapist, and get things in order. Of course I'm going to be seen as a failure. It's going to upset a lot of people, because once again I'm just a waste of time and money. But I just want to live a normal life. I want to feel happy again. I want to feel loved. I don't want to lie anymore...I just want to talk.