Gordian, hun, I hear what you're saying about the financial considerations of divorce, as I left my husband of 20 years (unhappy years), and actually allowed him to write the divorce himself, sans lawyers, and accepted much less than i was due financially in order not to wreck him financially. So, unless the two of you could come to some kind of agreement like that, I guess you would be facing challenges in the money area...but there are worse things...like living a life unhappily and being emotionally abused.
Patty