Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I only brought up example of my husband that if he started acted abusive, I’d not self diagnose him or assume I know what it is. I’d insist on doctor’s assessment. Not my own. Unless his doctor told you he acts like this because of brain injury and BPD or what not, I’d not make these assumptions. If he is becoming progressively more unstable, seeing a doctor is a step one
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I understand. With the research I've done, DBT seems to be the best therapy for these types of behaviours. So I'm giving this a chance.
We're always communicating. We're always talking about what we can do to make things better.. for us, the girls, and our family. He's receptive. A classic abuser would NOT adhere to any advice.. let alone, feedback.
What I'm struggling with personally, is forgiving him in a way that allows me to be more affectionate towards him. I'm guarded and angry so when he love bombs me because HE'S feeling it, I resent him and pull back. Sorry, buddy. I don't trust it. He struggles with this piece a lot.
I really don't care he's feeling rejected and unloved by me. I think he has a lot of balls to tell me he struggles emotionally when I take these breaks, because he thinks I "just want to get away from him". What a self-centered approach. Tough luck! I've been experiencing chest pains, breathing difficulties, headaches, sleeplessness, and weight loss since covid19 began BECAUSE of him.. and he's crying because I don't give him enough affection? Wow. I'm taking breaks for me. "Deal with it" is my attitude.. and he's trying to.