I think if going on a short vacation with her spouse causes her to act out, then she either has a serious mental issue that needs to be immediately addressed with medical professional or she should never go on vacation ever again. She isn’t a child. If the issue is her going on vacations, then she knows it by now and should stay home. If she simply isn’t enjoying her husband, she shouldn’t stay married.

Sure we can look for right timing and walk on egg shells and tip toe around abusers for years but clearly this marriage isn’t getting any better. It’s not like she acted out once. She behaved inappropriately the entire duration of their marriage. What is this tip toeing accomplishing besides giving her green light to continue acting out of control. There is zero wrong with telling poorly behaved people to stop their bad behavior.

Of course if it’s unsafe and dangerous to address issues with your spouse, it’s a valid concern. But why would anyone want to be married to someone they are afraid of?