I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time.  Here are links to 4 articles, from PC's archives, I thought might be of interest just in case you're not already familiar with them. The fourth link is to a podcast on the subject of how to get unstuck:
Feeling Negative? Something Needs to Change
How to Empower Yourself When You Feel Powerless and Helpless
Get Unstuck from Negative, Fearful Thoughts with 6 Simple Steps
Podcast: Getting unSTUCK- Get Yourself Going in 2020
Best wishes... 
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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