Sorry you are having such a bad time right now. I know the feeling of walking around empty and meaningless. This has been my mood for the past couple of days. Things will get better. It all takes time and truly is a process. I am finding I have to find myself again before I can contribute to my family emotionally. Writing in a journal helps. And what has helped me and my husband is a communication book. It is easier for him to know what I am going through if I write it down then he reads it.