I'm not sure what exactly he says but if it's anything similar to what he tells me when he's not in the right mindset, then they're not receiving the truth of a situation.

He's admitted to have "vented". He stayed overnight at a friend's house once, when he "broke up with me".. and came back to say, "I AM a good person. I AM caring. You're just insecure and have trust issues you need to work on."

At couple's therapy, the first introduction he gave her was that I have trust issues with EVERYONE.

His dad "jokingly" said I'm "the boss" and that I'm "sensitive". His mom once mentioned we "just need to compromise".

When I went over to his best friend's BBQ, a couple years ago, his (now) wife never approached me to say, "Hi, nice to finally meet you!" She was the hostess. He didn't want me going to their wedding, either, to which he was the Best Man for, even though I was invited. So now I'm not at all interested in spending time with his friends.

His family are my neighbours. They've lived here since my partner was a child. They are very influential and have a lot of friends here. So it's not just my word against his, it's my word against their's.

Ya, a BIG NO-NO, is right. He NEEDS that external sympathy, validation, and attention. It makes me want to barf.