I'm holding myself partly accountable for that.. which is why I feel understanding his triggers is important for ME. I can avoid this escalation by remaining neutral. When I react, it worsens the situation.

The expectation will always be for HIM to work through it. He needs to return to baseline before he'll be able to do anything constructive, though. The sooner he is, the better all around.

I learned a lot from raising my son. I was just blinded at the bigger picture about my partner.