A crisis counselor at my health care provider put this crazy idea into my head. I called the health care provider yesterday to complain. It was not a professional response to a call to help me de-escalate an anxiety spike. She should never have presented the idea that I move "on credit" and "worry about the debt accrued later." I was in such a vulnerable state, and missing my son, that I accepted this stupid suggestion as a possibility.

I lost two precious weeks of looking for affordable housing in my area. I know it is my responsibility to accept or reject suggestions...but at the same time I was in an extremely vulnerable state of mind.

I am turned off by therapy and counselors forever. I will call my local crisis hotline if I have an anxiety spike - for "in the moment" advice on how to calm down my anxiety - but I will never again call my health care provider regarding behavioral health problems.

I am resigned to finding affordable housing in my area, reducing financial pressure by having more affordable rent, and staying out of debt. I will then focus on generating income by freelance writing. I have done this in the past...but did not consider it a career possibility. Now I do.


I feel safe in the area where I now live, and it is a good place to wait out Covid19. I can focus on getting into a more economically feasible living situation, and even establishing a new online career, and saving money for a future move back east.


Presently I don't have any debt, and now I feel angry and humiliated that I allowed this "professional" I spoke with to put the idea of going into debt into my head.