I know exactly what you mean about feeling isolated and misunderstood. My therapist has been trying to get me to put that into words but I'm finding it difficult to really explain. It's good to see that I'm not the only one who feels that way. Have you also had an increase in those feelings now with the covid situation and its impact on therapy?

100% absolutely! Believe me, I am very grateful for teletherapy as opposed to no therapy. That said, I miss in person therapy very much. Sure, it's the actual sessions with my therapist, but it's the other little things, too...getting dressed to go out, driving over, seeing the receptionists and saying hi, maybe chatting a bit.

Basically, being in an environment that is different than the one I'm in almost all of the time.

Yes, I agree that anger is definitely part of it (for me it's a result of irritability). I think it can be difficult for others to really acknowledge that. In a sense I wish they would, but in another sense I'm not sure I want people to "forgive" me for it because it would make me feel like I'm not being held responsible for my actions, which would make me feel as though I'm being treated like a child, if that makes sense.

It does make sense. I've never thought of that perspective. It seems to me that communication is the way to handle the irritability/anger bundle. Well, communication, medication, and oftentimes physically reaching out can have an amazing effect.

By reaching out, I mean this...my husband and I have been a couple for 38 years. Never once, in all that time, has he reacted to my irritability or anger by showing that he acknowledges me feeling upset by physically touching me and speaking softly. He just gets defensive, which usually exacerbates the situation.

Some weeks ago I mentioned to my husband that I had had a session (months ago) in which I was raging at my therapist over her being late. I really came unglued in her office. Her response was to focus in and listen. Then she stood up and sat down next to me, put her arms around me and held me. It was like magic. I instantly felt validated, heard, and loved. I felt calmed.

I guess my husband was listening to me recounting the experience with my therapist, because yesterday when I was very irritable, he walked over, put his hand on my shoulder, and said "I know you're upset, but I didn't mean it that way" in a calm voice. Immediately, I felt calmer and more receptive to dialoguing with him.

Anyway. Don't even know if this is relevant...just throwing thoughts out.