I really relate to everything you said. It's a scary place to be when you feel like there's no joy in your life, because that can leave open too much room for future regret (by filling this void with less-than-ideal things-whatever they might be). And I especially understand feeling like you're only living for your children. Quite literally too, for how many times have we heard someone say, "If it weren't for my kids, I wouldn't even be here." We're told by everyone that what YOU want and need doesn't really matter once you have kids. Your place is now in the backseat. Because I love my kids so much I try to put that into the right perspective and remember that part of me still needs to be that person I was before I was a parent. (Or wife, husband, etc.). Being comfortable with all these roles is what I think helps with our success. I wasn't too good at this, which partially contributed to me no longer being married. To shift from the "wife" side of me to the "mom" to the "friend or coworker" and back to "myself"- the one that got to do things just for me- made me feel like I was going to lose it sometimes. I agree that you have to still have those things that make you you- your art, goals and dreams, because they will help you to be all the things that everyone loves about you, and you love about you, and without them is when you begin to change and second guess and build resentments. As far as not achieving your ambitions ten years from now and how you'll feel if you don't, I guess depends on whether your ambitions can be built onto the things you have now- the things that are the core of your life. If they can, you'll only make life better by adding to what you already have and love, and then the obligations won't feel so overwhelming anymore. They'll only be the functional part in a life that's in all other ways pretty fulfilled.