I saw this a while back and have been hesitating to answer because although I have experience here I'm not sure if any of it applies to your situation. That said:



1. Do you have first hand experience with a blended family or divorce?
Yes yes. It seemed like a wonderful idea to merge partial families (one child per parent) into one bigger family (Mum, Dad, two kids). But, my wife couldn’t control her increasing anger in life against me or the children, she couldn’t control her spending, she couldn’t enjoy life. We separated 2017 and finalized divorce 2019.


2. What is the best thing you've experienced about it? In other words, what are the strengths of blended families or divorce from your experience?
It’s a new start, a marvelous journey. Everyone can reinvent themselves. It could have been quite wonderful. It just ended badly for us.


3. What are the hardest parts about blended families and divorce?
The fault lines that exist at the beginning take a lot of time and hard work for both parents to erase, otherwise they linger. In our case my wife decided to open up the fault lines again as a manipulation tool, setting one child against her stepsister.


4. If you could go back in time and make one significant change, what would it be?
Not taking our kids through a gigantic heartbreak. I really wish I had waited another year to get married, and if I had, I would have recognized what was happening, and I would never have married. I really wanted to get married at the time. I was so optimistic and I thought it looked so perfect. But I was too hasty and I thought we could all just power through any problem.


5. Are you religious and/or spiritual? How does this play a role in marriage and divorce?
Somewhat. She used the religion to manipulate me and the kids. I’m somewhat spiritual but my wife isn’t, at all, so there was a huge disconnect there.


6. How do you think bipolar plays a part in divorce or blended families? What are things to be cautious of?
I think my wife’s changeable mood and zero patience and no empathy and constant cruelty and explosive rages eventually had everyone walking on eggshells trying to avoid another explosion.I'm not sure what the caution would be except to see if both adults (and even the kids) are willing to take responsibility and work to get better.


7. Do you have tips for someone thinking about divorce or separation? We have two little kids and I'm thinking about doing a trial separation to clear my mind and take a breather from our unhealthy relationship.
What’s a “trial” separation? If you need to separate, you need to separate. If you both want to work—as partners (!)—on the marriage, then you both have to go to marriage counseling together, separately, and work on it 50/50. You both need to accept responsibility, you both need to change. If one of you doesn’t accept responsibility or just reacts to everything with anger it won’t work. And if marriage counseling doesn’t work, better to work out a fair solution and have the kids get used to Mommy’s house and Daddy’s house and yes, it’ll be harder financially, but I think kids would rather have a harmonious household rather than a large separate dining room and a two-car garage.

Addendum: I really don’t know if any of this applies to you or your situation, but I will say the kids deserve happier parents, you deserve a happier you and I hope you figure out how to puzzle-piece it all together eventually.