sorry to bother you all. but this is just about the best place I have for sharing some things. This morning started out better, but the day went down fast. I walked home from work and like yesterday could not stop thinking about walking out into the traffic. Not that I was planning to do it, but the thinking was there and very bleak. I called the emergency psych number and talked and cried. I have an urgent appointment for tomorrow morning to talk face to face. It helps knowing I can make it that far. If I did not know first hand the horror a suicide leaves behind, it would be an attractive option. I know from being down here countless times before that it will work out. In the meantime, it is a damn hard struggle.