I’ve been mixing medications all day. Benzos with visteral, high doses of melatonin with antibiotics. How do you admit to people you have a legit issue? I told my therapist I have secrets. One is that I am very attracted to her. There’s no way I can tell her that. The second one is that I have an issue with medications and am addicted to Xanax. My doctor prescribed me the Xanax almost 2 years ago and in 2 years I only went one day without taking one and I got sick physically and felt like crap mentally. No one knows how bad this is. Not my family or my team.

I took 15 milligrams of melatonin so I could sleep. Now I feel super lethargic and also super agitated as well. I forgot I had a lot of antibiotics in my system. Not good. I feel like throwing up.