Hm, a good parent would not do those things i.e. play games, manipulate you, turn the babies against you etc etc. Worse is that he seems to know and be very conscious of what he is doing.

A good parent is not only someone who treats the kids well, is reliable and responsible (which, from you posts I don't see to be the case) but they model good behaviour and co-parent accordingly. They don't make the other partner out to be the devil - e.g. calling the police on you, threatening you, brainwashing the babies that 'mommy is hurting them' or to come to him if they need him when babies are with mommy. What kind of message is that sending.. That is not the mark of a good parent.

It seems you have to constantly be on guard re his behaviour: towards you, towards the kids so he doesn't 'explode'. Things have to be on his terms and one needs to walk on eggshells so as not to trigger him and/or his moods. Not only must this be exhausting for you, I imagine but... it shouldn't be this way.

You are pulling your weight and his weight. He is not a child. He ought to be managing his own behaviour and taking steps accordingly so as to be a good enough partner and parent. He doesn't do that.

He seems very volatile and manipulative, cunning really. Even if you guys don't come to full-blown fights in front of the children, children can sense something is wrong. For instance, sensing daddy is wary of mommy, daddy is putting words in their mouths, come to daddy if you are afraid of mommy etc. This is bound to negatively impact on them and what to expect in a future partner.