You sound exhausted, and rightly so.

I’d work to adjust the holding your daughter too tightly and diffuse her fear and calling for daddy. He may have planted the seed in her behind your back to ratchet up her fear so she’s playing into his hands.

I’ve been diagnosed with EDD (I hear that term is now replacing BPD, great... ), but I’m not a rotten person. I may have abandonment issues that cause me to react more emotionally to things than other people, but I don’t hurt anybody. Just an FYI. I’m just saying there’s something more going on with him than a diagnosis. This sounds like a man with a plan.

I don’t see why any judge would award him more than half custody. I do recommend you speak to an attorney and read about it. You are a good mother. Why would you be punished? He’d get the kids 60% or more if he was their caregiver that much or you were a severely problem mother who does not adequately care for them; drug addict, neglect, abuse, etc...