I'm in a messy bed I made for myself, not sure if that's the right saying. I didn't leave when i should have, but now I believe me being forced to face my life alone will strengthen me. Eventually. For now, depression in very real and being alone and reaching for help that isn't quite there yet... I just got to keep looking. I have to find it. I'm often torn with my relationship with my younger son, but tonight, he has good insights..... he said "things will get better, they can get better"..... and that's what depression steals from us.. we think that something is "the end of the world".... but maybe I'll find strength and I will cope better soon.