Thank you. My chest pains have gone away. My breathing difficulties come and go, depending on the momentary circumstances. It goes in waves.

Tonight, the whole "documenting me" is causing paranoia. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. I just wonder if he's watching me now in how I manage behaviours. If he can't handle it, he'll do nothing until I do.

Tonight our 3 yr old darted off as we were coming indoors. I was with the baby and he was with her. Instead of dealing with it, he went to unlock the front door I was fully capable of doing. He made mention to me that she took off and I didn't chase her (she was in a safe zone). He then grumbled about it and went after her. By that point, she came back. I later asked him why he seemed irritated with me for not chasing her, if he was the one who had her. He denied it and said he was irritated with "her" only. I got the impression he was wanting me to take care of it because we were outdoors, and this scenario is particularly hard for him to manage. I could read a lot into the WHY.. but I won't.

Point being, my mindset is not at par with things. I'm thinking and worrying about things I shouldn't be. I feel like I have to be extra cautious on what I do.. and not because of foul play, but because he could use and distort just about anything. Maybe it's all in my head and I should let it go. I just feel very unsettled. I don't feel like we're in a union at all.