Of course you aren’t in a union and you aren’t a team. What you shared with us does not show signs of a relationship that’s a union. Of course there are likely moments when it does feel like a union. And you can say that I exaggerate again but even the most horrible marriage has it’s sweet moments and even the most vicious abusers are sometimes sweet. It’s not the point though. One doesn’t need to be literally “always” bad for the whole thing to be a disaster.