Steve cognitive problems are much worse. Its been hell this past week to be honest. He is NOT a rude person. He doesn't raise his voice or even yell.. Well he exploded the other night like out of nowhere, He went on a rant about saying he said X and I'm like No your never said any such thing.... He starts talking about something and I have zero idea what he is talking about, he then get frustrated if he realizes he is forgetting things or not sure why he talking about something that he had a dream about but feels like its real.. Hes gotten so bad at times he will start crying and he is scared he is losing himself.

I have a huge PTSD issue when someone is yelling, I finally told him the other night to just STOP I can not take anymore. I had taken a bit to many Xanax and I really wanted to just grab my purse and take the keys to his truck and drive somewhere, anywhere, Drive til I ran out of gas. but it wasn't safe for me to do that. So I literally curled up into a ball and cried for over an hour on the bathroom floor.

He was put on Metformin at the hospital because he was found to have Diabetes type II , While in the hospital they were having to give him Insulin as he was running close to 400.. Saw our Doctor the next day, They said Metformin 500mg for 3 days and then 1000mg . So as to lessen the possible GI upset.

Well his numbers started to come down, Not great but closer to target range. Well he said since he got out of the hospital he just hasn't felt " right" I looked into Metformin and it can cause cognitive issues so that could be the problem, He already is dealing with some due to the brain volume loss but so not to this extreme.. This might have just pushed him over the edge ??? So he said he felt a bit relieved that there is possible connection and he may need another med.

As I mentioned I have a huge PTSD issue when being yelled at.. So I have just been very quiet , I know this is NOT my Steve and he keeps apologizing and I keep telling him to please just stop, he isn't doing it on purpose , we just need to get this figured out.

I called our Doctor and he has an appt at 10:30 tomorrow. I have no idea what med they can switch him too for the diabetes and then the whole battle of will his insurance cover whatever it is and how ungodly the price will be.

Last night he realized he had forgotten his morning meds , well He filled his med boxes a few days after he got out of the hospital he seemed okay at the time to do it, Well NO he had it all a bloody mess. So I have to dump everything out and get everything back in pill boxes, So maybe that caused some problems but the ones that were mixed up was Atorvastatin and Zoloft and a couple other meds that don't matter when you take them, so I cant see that being a problem but Hey who knows, right???

I had written a list of things he has to do when he first wakes up, Check BP, Oxygen level, Temp ,Oxygen level, Blood sugar, Nebulize, take his Incruse inhaler, take his Symbicort and take his meds. its legit right on top of my laptop where he checks his blood sugar , But he is forgetting things.

So I told him I am taking over his filling his med boxes, Hes also dealing with his hands shaking alot , this has been going on for the last year or so , related to his neuropthy that's starting in his hands, its a bit worse now, So he was having to go through 4-5 test strips to get a reading so I am taking that over, those test strips are not cheap , not at all.

Honestly I have no idea how much longer I can go on like this. I talk to my T Richard on Wednesday this is one of the times I really wish COVID wasn't a thing , I literally would Iove to walk in his office, lay on that ugly azzz couch and just cry, I miss the smell of his office, It was always soothing, Smells like a dusty old book store, one of my most favorite smells in the world, hes pretty messy, papers here and there and a book shelf full of such random books I joked with him about it over the years many times.

Sorry for the damn novel guys