PinkandBlue sorry you are missing people in your life so much. These times are bringing up so many feelings of grief and loss. Sometimes writing a letter can help bring closure or making a donation in the memory of someone can help ease the sting and help us let go.

Hope your husband is a comfort to you and understands these griefs from the past.

We are here for you. This article may be of interest
Five Coping Skills You Need to Work Through Grief

There are also more articles here
Coping with Grief | Psych Central @CANDC