So I really want to change my life and turn over a new leaf, to use a cliche, but I am struggling with intrusive thoughts. The content often varies but they are distracting and occasionally disturbing. I read for an hour then thumb back through the 20-25 pages and realize with horror that I didn't comprehend or I don't even remember anything I read, or I find that I am still staring at the same page I was an hour ago because the inside of my head is a shouting match between 15 different thoughts none of which have anything to do with the words on the page. I have been trying to get back into an old hobby recently as well only to find myself getting irrationally angry because I'm rehashing hostile conversations I had like 3 years ago for whatever reason. Typing this up took longer than it should have because in the middle of it I found myself scrolling through the Instagram of some celebrity.