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What I find concerning is you blame your own actions for his bad behavior. You didn't cause him to threaten you.
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I played a role in this scenario and am being honest about it. Had I not reacted, it wouldn't have escalated to that point. I have to take ownership of my position.
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I don't see how the two of you could possibly be in a "union" when he has threatened you and when he is setting you up to be the abuser and the bad parent.
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Well I guess if he's feeling inferior to me, I can understand his "need" to convince others I'm someone I'm not, to boost his own inner power over me. It's abuse, for sure. I'm not letting things slide. He will now be addressing this piece.
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I don’t like how he threatens you with he will get 60 or 100% custody should you divorce. Then he gets out of a state and back to himself and says he’d never hurt you.
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The only thing he threatened me was that he'd take the girls full time because, in that moment, he was misinterpreting my intentions (of being in the room) and went into "protective mode", unjustly. He'd never hurt me? It's laughable. He hurts me all the time. Covert abuse is a real thing. As for 60%, it's my fear about the financial gains he'd receive, since he's currently bankrupt.
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I don’t want to go further down the possible divorce road when maybe you can work with a therapist and repair this marriage.
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Ya, I'm wanting HIM to do this work. I'm also demanding time to cope through all this, despite if it makes him feel unloved.
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.. you lessen the ‘you were supposed to be watching’ routine. Even if he’s watching them, you try to be there if you can, and you are also watching them from a distance, not stepping on his toes unless he is endangering them.
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I was there watching on all three occasions. The point I was trying to make is that I was being blamed for something, unfairly. The first incident, I turned my back for a moment to put my cup away, to free my hands for the one year old. The second and third incidents, I was helping the one year old in some way. I made mention of these in case he'd "document".. just pointing out I was NOT being neglectful.
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Actually they do give kids to fathers full time. I know many families where father got full custody.
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Ya.. my fear.