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You can take ownership of your own actions, but you are NOT responsible for him escalating matters further. You are justifying, rationalizing and are taking the blame. You are a classic abuse victim, and you are doing all the classic things an abuse victim does and says to justify staying with someone who is flat out abusive.
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I'm not at all blaming myself for his behaviours. I'm not sure why you're thinking this, Have Hope. I've repeatedly told him and this forum that his behaviours has nothing to do with me.. that they're considered abusive.. and that I'm expecting him to address it with his therapist, which he is.
I've also addressed to him how these behaviours are affecting his daughters, myself, and our relationship. I've been pretty clear about that.