So I know a lot of us deal with abandonment issues. How do you handle it especially if you know it was not their intention? Do you tell them or does the thought of telling them increase the fear of them leaving?

Some things outside of therapy has happened that is related to my childhood abandonment. T and I have had really deep talks about my fears of abandonment. During one she asked if something particular was why I fear being to needy with my friends and her. I told her it was a big part of it. Then after that appointment she did something that felt like she was abandoning me or that I WAS too much for her. A part of me knows it was not her intention BUT I also learned as a child that what people say and do are too different things. Their actions are more important than what they say.

So at my appointment yesterday I said nothing about it but was quite distant. She said said some things yesterday which added insult to injury. Including the full term of my abuse which has always bothered me. It causes me to shut down. We have discussed it in the past and she is usually pretty good about it. Sometimes she slips because well it is just a normal thing for her to say. Normally my facial expressions tell her that she said it and smwe will mention it, she apologizes and we move on. Yesterday she didnt see my facial expressions or just misread it. I know much of this is to do with not being in the same room and having the connection.

Now I KNOW the answer is tot all to her but talking about my feat of abandonment causes my fear of abandonment to increase. With what happened over the last week I also am not comfortable reaching out via text, so I just need to stew for the next week.