Dear Pooky, I can almost relate to your pain that your life has lost its purpose due to your diagnosis. When I got my diagnosis, I was 54 years old, and I thought it meant that all my decisions and judgment for my whole life had been faulty. But a therapist explained that my decisions and judgment would often be faulty if I were having an episode, but that otherwise my decisions and judgment were fine. I don't think a bipolar diagnosis makes a person ineffectual or useless or unable to have a purpose. Perhaps you could have a therapist to talk this over with?