I can be unpleasant towards my therapist. I target her weak spots and can say very challenging things to her. She has got better at identifying when I am doing this and pointing it out to me, although I still take her by surprise sometimes and we become locked in a rupture. If I am able to say to her "I want to say something $hitty to you" or "I am feeling like I want to attack you" this takes the heat out of the interaction and we can work on my intra-process rather than what I am trying to act out with her. It's very hard for me to identify this destructive impulse and articulate it, but when I can, it feels much more productive. Sometimes I also say, "I need to think" when I feel like being cruel in order to buy myself some time and really focus on what is happening for me.