Yes, he has ADHD. It presents itself with impulsivities, restlessness, distractibility. He often tunes out or interrupts. He lacks focus on things he's not interested in (classic ADHD) which has usually been when I'm talking about "me".

You mentioned "slow to react"..? Definitely. If our dog is about to puke on the carpet beside him, and I'm breastfeeding, the most we get out of him is a lot of theatrical groaning and wiggles until it's too late. He doesn't respond to the situation fast enough to redirect it.. but then acts all bummed out when the dog does the inevitable LOL. Dogs don't puke that quickly, btw. He'd have at least 10sec to redirect him onto the floor. ADHD related? Didn't make that connection.

So far, our children do not present any signs of ADHD, learning disabilities, or any cognitive impairments.

That's right, which is one reason why having a dog has been helpful for him. He can't sit still for lengthly periods of time. It's why visiting his parents multiple times in a day is part of his daily occurrence. It gets him out. It's also why he has no filters, and crosses boundaries when it comes to privacy matters and respect. What he chooses to say is a different matter, though.

The Attachment Parenting style is all about being attentive to a child's need. It's a skill that's either innate or learned. He's in the learning stages which is why we opted to use this method.. to have clear guidelines. Also, it's because I was emotionally neglected as a child and there was a lot of foul play. This also helps me know what's HEALTHY parenting. We discussed this in great lengths, prior to the birth of our children. It's been an ongoing discussion. Having said that, there's been concerns I've brought up that has nothing to do with parenting styles or ADHD.

In these two scenarios, it was just that he wanted me to manage the behaviours. Why? Because the only way he's handled this scenario before was to pick her up and strap her into a stroller or hold her against her will. She'd scream, wiggle, and fight to get out of his hold. It's controlling. Every time, I tell him to put her down. They both look stressed. When she grows up, this method will no longer be an option to him.. and I've said so. So in these two particular scenarios, after our conversation, he didn't want to put himself in a situation where things would turn sour.. in public, for others to hear and see? Could it be because he's now documenting me and is wanting to keep himself in the clear? I don't know. All I know is that he was looking for me to deal with it.

I get down to her eye level and talk with her. I also give him tips on what tools he can use if she doesn't respond favourably. He just gets frustrated because he wants her to respond to him, quickly. He wants her to see him in the "authority position" and when she doesn't listen, he takes it personal. Gawd, maybe he's feeling inferior to her, as well.

You would think so. He's tried to say the same, too. But it's not the answer. He's always paid more attention to her than the 1yr old, even when she was one.. or an infant.

He was also more attentive towards my pregnancy with her than with my second (third) pregnancy. He admitted it's because he already experienced it with the first.. after that, it wasn't "as much" of a big deal. When I had my second c-section, he pretty much abandoned me, to be with our 3yr old. His parents were looking after her and said they would for as long as we needed them to. Once I had my surgery, suddenly plans changed? All he talked about was how tired and sore HE was. Really? I'm still upset with how that all played out.

It's differential treatment between the girls.. and I'm on it.. and it's improved BECAUSE I'm on it. It's a theme in our relationship.. but now he feels "inferior".

BTW, our one year old is far more mobile than our 3yr old ever was. She walks, runs, climbs, etc. She's a neat little girl. In fact, she's more affectionate to dad then the 3yr old.. which is why I think he's also starting to pay more attention to her now. She's filling his bucket because I can't.

They were at a school playground and they don't have toddler swings. I really think he just didn't think it was a big deal. I saw more photos. Yep, she was swinging, alright. He said she fell off as she was trying to get off. A truth? I'm not sure. But why not be in close proximity and help her off? He was probably too busy taking "cute" photos.. again, filling his own bucket and disregarding a safety concern.

Yes, this I know. I'm well versed in all this. It's my background. It's also why I'm looking at him on a deeper level, much like my son, who was originally misdiagnosed with ADHD.

Yes, he was prescribed medication for this but as a recovered addict, he was prescribed medication that's known to be addictive. Also, his doctor gave him too high of the dose.. and a medication that could easily be snorted for recreational use. So, we both agreed it was best he stop using it. The DBT has been the best support, so far, particularly with attention and focus.