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Originally Posted by annoyedgrunt84
I stopped here because when you headed this "Intrusive thoughts" my first inclination was "this is something I am going to relate to" and I was right. I'm so sorry this has all happened to you. I had a pretty traumatic event happen to me a little over a year ago something I would never had thought would ever happen to me, and I have having intrusive thoughts about it almost daily ever since. It's not like my life was together before this happened but now I have pretty much given up hope on it ever getting better, every time I try to polish up my resume or look online for a new job in a place I'd rather be I just sort give up, what's the use I'm a terrible person and they'll find that out soon enough. I hope I didn't come off as taking your problem and making it all about me I just have really been struggling with this a lot lately and it is killing what little motivation I even had before this happened.
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I’m sorry that’s happening to you. I hope you will be able to move forward. But I understand how awful it is when it feels like your own brain is attacking you. Is that how it feels for you?
Mine won’t stop bombarding me with flashbacks of the abuse I endured, the special moments and memories we had together, and then images of him with the disaster he’s cheated on me with-and THOSE images! Those are torture. Everything from vivid pornographic thoughts of acts they’re engaging in, comparisons he must be making of the two of us, small intimacies the we shared that he now shares with her, etc etc. And those are the thoughts that keep me awake and literally jolt me out if the little sleep I do get. My brain has it all constantly running like a movie on a never ending loop. As if the heartache and callous disregard cause by my husband isn’t enough, I’m being tortured by my own brain.