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Old Jul 23, 2020, 08:01 AM
Soupe du jour Soupe du jour is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Czechia
Posts: 5,172
My first hypomanic and manic episode was in my mid teens. At that time, I became hyper religious. My family were mostly First Baptists, but my parents almost never went to church except maybe some Christmases to satisfy my grandmother. Though as a younger kid, my mom sent me to a couple meetings of bible study (Methodist) that ended quickly.

But when hypomanic/manic I yearned to find God. With various family friends I went to a few different churches and felt most "with God" at the Roman Catholic church. I started going every Sunday then decided to to go through RCIA and get baptized and confirmed (about 16 years old) . My parents didn't care. They were very laissez faire types (with just a few exceptions), and were used to my odd and often wild behavior. The couple years leading up to that were definitely "teen angst" years for me. I was ultra religious, impulsive and disinhibited. I was once asked to give a speech in front of the large congregation (around 100 or more, at 16 years old), which turned out to be almost as Kanye West is now acting. That experience seemed amazing at the time, but became a traumatic one later, because of what I said. I had loud arguments at school with a precalculus teacher that inappropriately preached atheist thinking, and he ordered me out of class a couple of times. I was often in trouble and in detention because of my behavior (mouth).

My religious fervor eased significantly by my freshman year of college. Since then, during a couple of hypomanic or manic spells I would want to return to church again, but as they eased, that desire ended. I have had hallucinations regarding the devil, in the past. I also experienced delusions of persecution where I felt God wanted to kill me. Those led to psych hospitalizations (and forced sedations) and multiple cops showing up. Also emergency psychiatrist appointments. Only when psychotic.

Last edited by Soupe du jour; Jul 23, 2020 at 08:32 AM.
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