Somehow it always feels unreal to me. I can never really "be there." It's not that I don't take control of my life, I do, and I usually succeed at the goals I set, but it doesn't make me feel alive. No matter what I do everything just feels like a dream, far away, hidden behind a fog. It's hard to feel like anything really matters or like I'm even real for that matter.

I suppose I ought to put this in the dissociation forum but that place seems to be mostly about DID and in any case I'm not sure whether this is related to my bipolar or not. I have a diagnosis of "depersonalization/derealization disorder" FWIW, but I have no clue what to do with that information or how to overcome the symptoms. It's frustrating because people around me seem like they can feel life so intensely and I have no idea how to do that.