I spoke to T last night and I told her that I have terrible thoughts but I was afraid to tell her, but she eventually got it out of me I told her I have suicidal thoughts and she said that it would be between us if I promise not to do it so I did, then I asked her again at the end if she has to mention my thoughts of sucide to anyone T said I promised you and I said if I say i'm going to do it tonight would you still keep the promise and T said you already promised me you won't.