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Originally Posted by 8sarah8
well i think it is just a terminology used to assist the therapist of other mental healthcare provider to be able to step back and not be blamed for anything sexual or romantic that might have somehow developed. it sounds so clinical and separate and seen as a nearly diagnosis that the patient may be going through and not actually a real legitimate feeling when they are right there in the room with another person who might actually be having similar feelings. to me is is sort of dishonesty to call it transference. actually in any situation in life that same process is happening and sometimes it does lead to a long lasting open love. sadly the therapist/MH professional does have to maintain that aloofness but i find that a bit hurtful to the therapist and patient. that is why i wish a therapist could be a machine. if you have not guessed yet, i was severely in love with my first therapist. do you know about me at all? i’m hopeful about transitioning from male to female but my therapist then was a woman. does this mean i’m a woman who loves women. i don't know. or am i actually a man who for other reasons needs to transition. i have not had any therapy since then (over 3 years ago) that has been able to approach dealing with this. i think a machine could do much better. thinking about this makes me sad. but i’m still hopeful that i’m finding the right things to do. but if i could, i’d be in a relationship with that former therapist. maybe she was just being too nice? i don’t know but as for transference, i do not think it was all me and nothing her. happy to go on with this subject if you’d like...
Sarah
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Yes, I think I have seen a post of yours before. I agree with it being very one sided. I know counter transference exists too, so does that mean that no one is exempt from transferring their feeling on to others? Are all relationships just transference, where we seek what we needed and missed out on in childhood? How do I know when my feelings are not transference, and truly authentic? Would they ever be considered authentic in a therapy setting.
My therapist is very open about things, and has shared things about his personal life. I really enjoy hearing about most of it, and it does help me.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Personally I experience confusion around my gender, and often I say I don't feel male or female. I don't know why.