hi, i really find that finding oneself attracted and desiring someone new is a natural thing and happens naturally and often in a person’s life. in the isolated situation of a therapist’s office and the therapist being kind and caring and somewhat open about her or his life, it really would be surprising if nothing happened (at least the desire and perhaps verbal expression of it. it surely happened with me and i so wish my therapist would have said to me that this was going to make further therapy with her too difficult and that i should find another therapist. i wished i could jsut be in her arms. she did however say it was impossible and it would never happen. she should have recognized a broken hear when she saw one and ended the therapy relationship. but this is not transference as if it were a real thing other than falling in love with someone. she was pretty and beautiful the way i am attracted to women. (i’m sure this comes off as being extremely weird coming from me Sarah. but it is true in spite of my present status) she also had likes and dislikes similar to mine. she was what i considered physically compatible. she claimed to be married but did not wear a ring. that is a confusing message to a susceptible patient. and further i believe she implied that she was gay. that is something that kind of works in with who i am or might be which at that time was less processed than now. now i am with another therapist who i chose because she does not seem like the kind of person i could be attracted to but sometimes i feel like i could and that she might actually want it. it is just confusing to be with another person when you want to be attached to someone - even if you already are. i just dont think it is “transference” but normal human connecting.