@MsLady, just to chime in, I want you to know that you are not alone and we are all trying to help you in our own unique and different ways. I understand abuse very much myself, having been through it many times over. You are very strong, and stronger than you may even know. And.... I want to bring up another positive here, you are clearly a very attentive, loving and astute mother, who is trying her best. That is to be applauded. You really are a good mom. I know I may have sounded in past posts like I am being strong with my words, but it's only because I care about your well being and your happiness, it's difficult to hear what you're going through, and I mainly come from a place of encouraging you to enforce strict and strong boundaries around disrespect and abuse. That's all. Hugs to you.