Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope
@ MsLady, just to chime in, I want you to know that you are not alone and we are all trying to help you in our own unique and different ways. I understand abuse very much myself, having been through it many times over. You are very strong, and stronger than you may even know. And.... I want to bring up another positive here, you are clearly a very attentive, loving and astute mother, who is trying her best. That is to be applauded. You really are a good mom. |
Thank you. I'm often told how "strong" I am. For once in my life, I just want to enjoy it without the burden of other people's complicated baggage. We all have them. I do, too, but I try and make the best of my life. I try and live it honestly, healthily, and with some fun. All of this other stuff being projected onto me, I can live without.
I'm learning that my body is in chronic state of stress. It's too much. Leaving this relationship will not improve on that stress.. it'll just change it.
I've been setting boundaries all along. I'm tired of it. I just want to be at peace, here. I don't WANT to be his therapist, life and parenting coach, financial advisor, and a punching bag. I also don't feel like I can just step back with it because the concerns I do bring up, affects us as a WHOLE.
He just wants me to LOVE him.. to be HAPPY.. to fill his bucket and boost his ego. He wants the illusion of "being in love" and raising a "happy family" but it is he who is sabotaging all that from happening.
I'm not perfect. I have my quirks and temperament. I look inwards for improvement, though. I admit when I make a mistake. I apologize, sincerely. I try and learn from my experiences. I've just been blinded.
Thanks for your support. I know we haven't been on the same page on a few things but I do appreciate what you're trying to do.. and a lot of what you've said has been spot on.