Quote:
Originally Posted by newtus
Why do I feel as if I have nothing, yet so much, going on?
I seem to wake up in an existential crisis every morning. It’s never anything major. It’s like I look at every new notification and email and there’s some questions that come to me.
And yet I pose to myself, again, the question: aren’t I not cut out for a philosophy degree? As this stuff comes so naturally to me.
...
It’s time for me to stop asking of others approval of life situations.
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I'm hard on myself as well. I'm a high acchiever because I belief inaction is death, and that's not healthy. It also results in a form of anhedonia (although not the one induced from my meds, the manic swtich that caused brain damage) but a lack of pleasure when I could be relaxing and not doing anything, even though that is impossible due to the brain damage.
The good thing for you is that you've found love, and so you have a means to shift from a life of action to a life of shared existence which is more authentic to us social creatures. That way you can get outside of your head and not go up in a ballon like i often do.
A philosophy degree isn't much really. If you read very carefully, a few really good philosophy books then you might be a philosopher! I'm not a teacher so I don't believe Ill have success in philosophy. Honestly, i have a good foundation in the mysteries of life and that's it, I'll never be one of the greats I feel because the greats teach classes all week and engage in ideas every week.
I have to work so I can't engage ith ideas the way i want every week. All I can do is read a coule books every month, and post a blog and write a short story every now and then.