Thank you for answering -My eldest child (EC) has always had issues with jealousy. No, EC has no interest in any sort of help. I asked once if they would be willing to go to counseling with me so we could try to sort out what was going on and was told no absolutely not. I started going to therapy not much later than that, as I was an absolute mess, lol. Still am, really.
It's so dang hard to be a parent. I always thought I was doing pretty good, because I didn't do any of the horrid things my parents did, I told my kids I love them every day, and showed I loved them all the time by giving them my attention when they had something important to say, and prioritizing what they thought was really important as well as what I thought was really important, and - well, I thought I was doing pretty good. Anyway - it seems like when your kid hits adulthood, and you look back, you see everything you did wrong. Oh gosh, I indulged too much! I paid too much attention! did this, did that, whatever. I remind myself that we all do what we can do, and no one's perfect, and I genuinely tried my hardest to be a good mom, and I think that's just going to have to be good enough.

Youngest child is now getting around the age EC was when all the drama started. I am apprehensive over every grumpy look, but I have had us in family counseling ever since EC left, when I realized that what had been going on was actually abuse, (I feel like an idiot for not understanding this but I feel like my head was in a fog for years, in denial that my sweet little baby was now this awful creature constantly yelling and hurting and glaring and stomping and terrorizing and lying and manipulating and so on) and our counselor is excellent so I think that even if youngest has any issues, our counselor will winkle them out and keep us on a positive path.