Thanks.
My first session with T1 he wondered if part of my struggle in therapy before was working with women. Having been terrified of men most of my life I thought it was an odd idea that I couldn’t work with women. I had also had a lot of female mentors all the way through college.
This whole T2 thing started when T1 said he thought it would be very beneficial for me to have a strong female mentor in my life right now. Lacking any natural supports I came up with the idea of T2 which I was kind of excited about as I wanted to get to know her anyway.
I did send T1 an email with what I am struggling with emotionally and the impulses I am trying not to act on. I just didn’t know at the time that most of it seems to be connected to seeing T2. So... I guess that is where we will go Monday unless it gets worse and I have to call.
It has been SO long since I have been this triggered. I also don’t know why I look so calm on the outside (like almost falling asleep calm) when inside is complete turmoil. H is having a hard time because I have so little tolerance for anything. Last night we went out to eat and someone was banging their spoon on their plate or cup really loud... when I burst out with “we are all grown ***** adults is this really necessary”. Poor H... we eat at this place regularly so most people (not the noisy one) know us and there was no way for him to just snag me up and run. But he doesn’t get why I keep snapping.
I am trying to remind myself of all my previous encounters with T2. I am also looking at her professional FB page and web page...