After being in hospital, I wish it was as easy as spotting red flags. My esteem and sense of worth took a nose dive. I had a bad breakdown at 18. My family thought that no young man in their right mind would have stuck by someone whose future was uncertain. They said they thought he would have run a mile. My friends didn't care, being caught up with their own lives and problems and thought it was all alcohol addiction I was in for. They suspected a suicide attempt but pretended they didn't know. In all honesty I went off the rails and had a full blown psychotic break. I didn't deserve to be messed around. But I took the good with the bad as I felt like I didn't deserve any better after being a mental patient. Back then I thought that maybe my soul was irredeemable after losing it. Because that was how a lot of people treated me. Like I was a lost cause.